Siddity Tips for Travel, Part I
1. Pack at least two days in advance, and then lock your luggage. Now, ignore it until you are on your way out the door.
There is nothing worse than wasting 2 hours the night before you're set to leave, at the ass crack of dawn, because you've either not bothered packing until last minute, or you can't decide which Pumas to take, and you've burried those bitches at the bottom of your bag, so everything has to come out. Except, perhaps, getting a call from your airport limo service at 3 a.m. telling you that, sorry, they're running a little late, so they'll be picking you up at 5 instead of 4, not only jeopardizing your flight plans, but also screwing you out of an hour of sleep.
2. Airport limo services suck.
3. Wear sensible shoes.
Shoes like Puma speedcats, which are not only wonderfully comfortable for racing through airports to your gate at speed because your limo service fucked you up by getting you to the airport shortly before boarding, putting you at the end of a very long security line; they're also thin-soled, which means you won't have to remove your shoes when you get to the front of said line. Also, they're very stylish. And you won't have to worry about unpacking your whole bag to get to the pair you've decided you don't want to take.
4. Wear sacrificial accessories.
Every time I travel, I lose at least one accessory--a scarf, an earring, a pin. If it isn't too pricey a piece, you'll not only not be upset by its loss, you'll be able to convice yourself that it was in fact a sort of travel sacrifice. Lose some jewelry to the gods of travel, keep more important things, like, oh, your life.
5. Hide your porn.
You never know what might happen to you while you're on vacation, especially if your sacrifice to the travel gods was kind of crappy. Do you really want your grieving relatives' to have to sort out your estate, run across your collection, and have their last thoughts of you be "Oh my god. Is that a donkey?"
There is nothing worse than wasting 2 hours the night before you're set to leave, at the ass crack of dawn, because you've either not bothered packing until last minute, or you can't decide which Pumas to take, and you've burried those bitches at the bottom of your bag, so everything has to come out. Except, perhaps, getting a call from your airport limo service at 3 a.m. telling you that, sorry, they're running a little late, so they'll be picking you up at 5 instead of 4, not only jeopardizing your flight plans, but also screwing you out of an hour of sleep.
2. Airport limo services suck.
3. Wear sensible shoes.
Shoes like Puma speedcats, which are not only wonderfully comfortable for racing through airports to your gate at speed because your limo service fucked you up by getting you to the airport shortly before boarding, putting you at the end of a very long security line; they're also thin-soled, which means you won't have to remove your shoes when you get to the front of said line. Also, they're very stylish. And you won't have to worry about unpacking your whole bag to get to the pair you've decided you don't want to take.
4. Wear sacrificial accessories.
Every time I travel, I lose at least one accessory--a scarf, an earring, a pin. If it isn't too pricey a piece, you'll not only not be upset by its loss, you'll be able to convice yourself that it was in fact a sort of travel sacrifice. Lose some jewelry to the gods of travel, keep more important things, like, oh, your life.
5. Hide your porn.
You never know what might happen to you while you're on vacation, especially if your sacrifice to the travel gods was kind of crappy. Do you really want your grieving relatives' to have to sort out your estate, run across your collection, and have their last thoughts of you be "Oh my god. Is that a donkey?"
posted by Sid at 1:28 PM
2 Comments:
I canna believe you started a whole new Blog. You're killing me.
yes, i'm going take that shoe advice because lord knows i have problems with the taking off of shoes and the two-door car (long story)
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